In this modern age when most men and women, particularly of this present generation are fixated more on outward beauty and materialism in their pursuit for success, but are lacking in inner beauty and the requisite character required for success as showcased through their impatience, indiscipline, disrespect, and lustfulness for money, the personality of Chief (Mrs.) Mercy Gbenekama, alias Manage (Ba-managegha), a native of Gbaramatu Kingdom in the Warri South-West area of Delta State, echoes loudly the type of character or behaviour that women, and men inclusive, should emulate if they intend to succeed in life.

The custodian of the traditional title of Ibe Uyadon-Ere of Gbaramatu Kingdom, who marked her Birthday on Monday, September 11, 2023, is wife to the prominent High Chief (Amb.) Godspower T.D.A. Gbenekama (JP), the Fiyewei of Gbaramatu Kingdom. While they could be adjudged as successful couple, however, Chief Mercy had her humble beginnings, going through a lot and toiling very hard to assist her husband to build their home to the peak of success that it is today.

PENGlobal Lifestyle reaches out to the soft-spoken celebrant whose state of resourcefulness earned her the domestic title of Manage (Ba-managegha), to know her point of views on issues that border on relationship and what counsel she has to offer this present generation that seems to be derailing in their relationship as they strive to building a successful life, family and home.

"Our generation with nowadays generation is entirely different," the Ibe Uyadon-Ere hesitantly began the conversation. "And so, you cannot use our own time to compare. And if you want to tell the story of my time to this present generation, they will tell you stories from Heaven and Earth, and inform you that our time has passed.

"Well, I usually tell them that in this your new generation, if you believe it favours you, then thank God. But the way we are seeing things, it doesn’t favour many of them because they depend on things that they cannot afford," she opens up on her thoughts, and further added, "they depend on big things!"

Explaining this position of her's further, she said: "Our people has a parable that, ‘Where your hand can get to is where you hide something.’ So, my advice to them (if they will accept it), is that they should start from somewhere and not jump on things they have not started. Nobody that made it starts life easy; you will pass through some process before you turn to the original gold," she counseled, in reference to her earlier disposition of the desperation of the youths of nowadays running after 'big things' in life.

“My advice to them is that they should take life easy. Somebody that has made it in life and someone that is just starting is not the same thing. It is before they use to say ‘Sew your cloth according to your size.' But now, it is 'sew your cloth according to your material.’ It is where your material reaches you will use to sew. If it is only skirt it reaches, sew only the skirt. When it gets to the time where you can sew other things to add to the skirt, the money will be available,” she urged.

To young girls of these days, she cautioned, "Young girls nowadays should take life easy. It's not always sugar, sometimes there is bitter leaf. So they should be aware of that when they enter into a marriage."

But Chief Mercy is not done yet. As a wife and mother that started out from a humble beginning, and that has seen it all in life and in relationship, allured to the fact that the reason for most breakups in most relationship is largely due to the actions of men who she alleges are not truthful and sympathetic. 

"There is another parable that whatever you throw in front is what you will walk to meet ahead. And so, the men should love their wives, planning together is the key. Don’t hide any secret from your spouse. If you plan together you will make it in life. Be truthful to your wife. Any marriage where truth is lacking, it takes God’s grace for such a marriage to succeed.

"In nowadays marriage, not only the women that scatters it, the men are culprits too. Most times it is the men, because in any beer parlour it is the men, not the women, that you will see there. You will never see married women close from their work and go and sit down in one beer parlour. But men love to flex with their girlfriends and to drink. When they get home they will pretend to be hungry; or when the woman is shouting they are hungry, the man will feel less concerned because he has eaten outside.

"So the married men should do away with that habit. That money you use to flex outside, if you give it to your wife, she will use it to prepare food in the house. If a woman is always hungry in the house, there is no way she will be happy to live with you in the home. Married men should adjust themselves. As women depend on big things, that’s how some men also depend on what they are not capable of," she revealed.

Lastly, on her thoughts on how to garner success in life, the Ba-managegha noted, "Anybody that wants to succeed in life, don’t focus on other people’s lives; instead, be focused on yours. Anyone that is not focused in life will not make it. I always tell my children to be focused. If you say you’re going to Kunukunuma and on your way you now change course that you have a friend in Okerenkoko, when you get there something might carry you and you will not get to Kunukunuma. And from there you will return because you don’t know where you are going. So, in this life, plan and reason together, and with God and prayers you will succeed," she professes.

When asked if she has any message in relation to her birth anniversary, she smiled gleefully and uttered "I thank God for my life. It is the grace of God that made it possible for me to see this day. It is not my power or strength, it is just the grace of God. People that are beautiful than me, stronger than me, enterprising than me, are nowhere to be found. But God sustained me to see this day. So, I give glory to God for keeping me to see a new year again in Jesus name, Amen," she prayed.

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